It's Your Fault
by darknessflame89
Summary: One Shot Hiei's thought about Kurama after he tells Hiei that he loves him. shounenai.


Disclaimer: do you think I would be writing a fanfiction if I actually owned yuu yuu hakusho? I think not. Also I do not own the song 'head over feet' by Alanis Morissette

Warning: this story contains, shounen-ai, so if that offends you, you can just click the back button and be on your way

**It's Your Fault**

**x**

**x**

_I had no choice but to hear you  
You stated your case time and again  
I thought about it_

x

x

I don't know why I'm here. Your words, they terrified me. How could you love someone like me? Someone who's so dirty? Someone who knows nothing but killing? But some how you found a way, and you told me, told me that you loved me.

Was it unavoidable?

I had shown up at your window, like any other night, nothing out of the ordinary. I sat there outside in the tree, watching you busy yourself with your silly human work.

You were always so wrapped up in humans and their ways, sometimes I wondered if I had lost you to this world, but then I'd see the flash of those beautiful golden eyes, and I knew. I knew that you were still there. And still I would sit here, watching.

Something about watching you brought a sense of calm over me that I haven't felt before. Similar to that the hiruseki would bring, but different. I wouldn't know how to explain it, I not one for words like you.

You have a way with presenting yourself that mesmerizes me. Your words flow with grace, that comes from long thought and knowledge. Your movements, swift and precise, never faulting.

And still, I cannot bring myself to think of a reason while I stand outside your window, watching.

x

_You treat me like I'm a princess  
I'm not used to liking that  
You ask how my day was_

_x_

My eyes haze over as I feel myself being pulled back into memories, memories that no matter how hard I try, never seem to drift away.

And I'm sad to report that a certain fox occupies the darkest corners of my mind.

Friendship? Is this what this feeling is? No, it can't be? The Forbidden child doesn't have any friends.

Then what is this feeling?

Something about you sparks something in me. A feeling of warmth, and caring. Caring? Is that the right word? The way you always look at me with those vastly expressent emerald orbs. You've always cared, haven't you? From the moment you meet me, to the moment you told me you loved me.

I wasn't used to it. It scared me. You scared me. The one I trusted.

And you know what I did? I ran.

But I know that if I were to walk through the door right now, you'd smile and ask me how I was, how my day had been.

Why do you do this? Smile, as though nothing hurts! But then, it's what has to be done, right?

But then why do I hurt? Why does it hurt?

x

_You've already won me over in spite of me  
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet  
And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are  
I couldn't help it  
It's all your faults_

_x_

That's when I realized it. That I loved you too. But how could I tell you that now? When I had just walked out on your words? Would you do the same to me? Because somehow, I don't know if I could withstand it like you.

I focus from my thoughts, bring my head up to watch you once again, but that's when I realize.

I'm not the only one who has been watching.

You have too.

And that's were we meet.

And standing here, looking into your eyes, I know I have fallen in love.

Damn. How could I have done this?

And now I know it's your fault.

Your eyes blink, as if trying to decipher if I am here, or a mere illusion. And slowly, upon coming to the conclusion that I am indeed solid, you stand and come closer. Your eyes seem to brighten, but seem to also hold some sadness. And I wait for that faithful moment when the window will certainly open.

x

_You are the bearer of unconditional things  
You held your breath and the door for me  
Thanks for your patience_

_x_

"Hiei." Your voice floats through the air, disturbing the night silence. "What are you doing here? Is everything ok?" Your eyes have grown wider, as if fearing I will bring some sort of bad news with my presence.

I stand there, just staring, and for some odd reason, I can't bring myself to talk. But something even more unfamiliar to me has occurred, and that is you. Holding back to question, just simply waiting. The wind blows, sending a chill down my spine, and I silently thank you as you move aside from the window, leaving it wide open for me.

I flit through the open pane, and land on your bed. Grateful for the warmth I receive inside. I watch as you slowly pull your chair up next to the bed, sit, and wait.

And wait.

Your patience is something that amazes me. Never one to strike from irritation. And I wonder why it amazes me so, maybe because it is such the opposite of me. Though for whatever reason, I am grateful.

You are something I never wanted to lose.

x

_You're the best listener that I've ever met  
You're my best friend  
Best friend with benefits  
What took me so long_

_x  
_

You sit there, still waiting for me to speak, and I realize that, with out a doubt you are the only person that has ever really listened. Ever really cared. What drives you to care so much? Why couldn't you have just left me that night we meet. Thing would have been so much easier, but you hadn't , so here I am.

Is this really friendship? Has the Forbidden Child really gained a friend? A partner? Someone I can trust? Someone that will always be there when I need it?

Somewhere deep inside me, I secretly pray it is.

I hope it's what you humans call a 'best friend'. Someone who's always there? Looking on it now, it would certainly seem so. As I look over at you, I see that you are still waiting, waiting to listen, to hear what I have to say.

As if it would really matter. Would it?

Or is that part of the 'best friend' thing too? Listening.

"Kurama.." I start, and I notice that you pick your head up at the sound of your name. "I…." I tried but some how that silence from outside has followed me inside.

"It's ok Hiei." You say as you pick your hand up and slowly place it over mine. I look into your eyes and find understanding in those wonderful emerald depths.

And all I can wonder is, what took me so long? Why hadn't I noticed this earlier?

x

_I've never felt this healthy before  
I've never wanted something rational  
I am aware now, I am aware now_

_x_

My mind shudders from all these thoughts. Why can't I just say it?! My arms shake, becoming irritated with myself, my fear. And that's when I felt a pair of arms snake themselves around me. I hadn't noticed it, but sometime in these short seconds, you had stood from your chair and moved to the bed. Possessing only the grace I knew only you were capable of.

"I'm sorry." You whisper in my ear, and I swear I can feel the worry in your voice. "I never meant to hurt you." Your arms tightened slightly, and I feel a warm tear trail down my neck.

And that when I realize. That I want this too. I want to be rid of the sorrow, and welcome something more beautiful, something that I know only you can give me.

But how? I know nothing of this matter called love.

"Why?" I whisper slowly, successfully catching your attention. I feel you raise your head from my shoulder, bringing yourself eyelevel with me.

x

_You've already won me over in spite of me  
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet  
And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are  
I couldn't help it  
It's all your faults_

_x_

"What do you mean Hiei?" you ask as you adjust yourself in my lap.

"Why everything fox?" I ask. "Why are you sorry, why are you crying, and why do…" I stop, "Why do you love me?" I ask quietly.

You smiled. Smiled, and I can only wonder what you are thinking, because I know I will never figure it out.

"There are something's you just can't explain, like love. But maybe it's because I always find myself wondering. Wondering what it'd be like to hold you in my arms, wondering how your doing, if your ok. Wondering if you think of me, like I think of you." You stopped, and I look up at you. Your eyes smiled, though I could only wonder if that was doubt I found behind those gems.

Gradually I found the urge to settle that insecurity. And I did just that. Slowly, I leaned forward and touched my lips to yours. The taste of you is something I could only describe as sweet and intoxicating, I wanted more.

Then I felt your tongue on my lips, and slightly out of shock I opened my mouth. There were no words to how it felt, sitting here having you kissing me. Eventually the lack of oxygen drove us apart, and I saw your face covered in a slight blush and could only guess mine mirrored yours.

"You don't have to wonder anymore." I told him in a slight whisper, our faces so close that our noses were still touching.

x

_You've already won me over in spite of me  
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet  
And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are  
I couldn't help it  
It's all your faults_

_x_

"I love you fox." I told him, and watched as he brought his chin up to my forehead, and gently placed a kiss over the bandage there.

"..Love you.." he said as he drifted off to sleep in my lap, as I looked down and just smiled.

Smiled as I slowly drifted off to sleep in the arms of the one I trusted most.


End file.
